WOO! It's been awhile! How are all of you faring? Well, I can't help but hope. My summer vacation is going onto a small, almost agonizing start. However, I am planning onto doing some of my summer homework for future classes.
This can prove difficult, as the men in my family tend to hog the computers whenever I'm ready to write. Unfortunately, I have enough willpower to write entries and fiction literature, but I cannot bring myself to do an essay just yet. Hopefully my dear brother can shine some examples to me before I stress anymore over it.
Summer hasn't been all that bad in comparison to the Spring prior. The weather here is almost humid, but with the variety of winds passing through, everything is chilly. This, however, does not seem to stop my house from baking like a potato under the sun's heinous rays. Quite a dreadful thing, you may imagine—
Ah, pardon the delay. I just had to do a fair bit of chores. My hands are awfully soaked from the sink's water. I fear that the clacking of keyboard is not to be admired in this situation, as my nails are awfully... hm... bendable. It's quite disgusting in my eyes. Thus, I must bind you adieu, if only to let my hands dry.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Saturday, June 20, 2015
June 20th, 2015
I ended school yesterday and I'm really tired. I don't why, but I am. Exams are over though, so that's a good thing. Yet, why do I feel so pathetic? Probably because I'm not doing anything and simply just doing nothing. I also cannot hang out with friends because literally all of them are introverts. Aaaaahhhhh...
I'll try to do something productive, but with how most likely I will perish, it's not very likely though.
I'll try to do something productive, but with how most likely I will perish, it's not very likely though.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Childhood Summer
Some kids live out their single digit years in a nice neighborhood. They would live behind a white picket fence, ignorant to the whole world. Behind their white coated walls and their heavily decorated rooms, they begin their curiosity in narcotics and a blurred line between morally right and wrong.
Some kids live out their childhood in just that, a hood. They are surrounded by gangs, murders, rapes and robberies. Their parents drill into their heads to be better; to look for a bright future; to chase after their dreams, because the adults couldn't. The blame is put in delusional teenage fantasy and a white stick with a pink cross decorating it. Sometimes, these kids do overcome all of their obstacles, taking all of the hard ways, to earn the good ones. Sometimes, they try an easier way out; quickly following their parents' depravity.
Some kids live out their entire life in different homes. They've seen humanity's nature far too close for anyone's liking. Sometimes, they wish for better but they must hold their tongue. They are force upon this characteristic of self loathing; no one wants them. Their ego is smashed to pieces, and sometimes... they don't bother to pick it up.
Some kids live their school days hating their body, because they don't match up with the trend or they just don't quite fit. They hate themselves, hate their life, and their angst is practically fuming from their musk. They just can't quite see yet, and perhaps they never will.
Some of them drown themselves on electronic waves and fake names. I want to be someone other than me. Anyone, really. These thoughts run through their mind as they lie, and lie, and lie until their throats are sore and someone shuts them up. Though an unlikely encounter, there is always that misfortune. That is why parents try to warn them, but they don't see with their disabled eyes.
Some kids don't fit in these categories at all. They just live day to day, waiting for something amazing or outrageous to happen to them. They're always waiting.
What is your memory?
Some kids live out their childhood in just that, a hood. They are surrounded by gangs, murders, rapes and robberies. Their parents drill into their heads to be better; to look for a bright future; to chase after their dreams, because the adults couldn't. The blame is put in delusional teenage fantasy and a white stick with a pink cross decorating it. Sometimes, these kids do overcome all of their obstacles, taking all of the hard ways, to earn the good ones. Sometimes, they try an easier way out; quickly following their parents' depravity.
Some kids live out their entire life in different homes. They've seen humanity's nature far too close for anyone's liking. Sometimes, they wish for better but they must hold their tongue. They are force upon this characteristic of self loathing; no one wants them. Their ego is smashed to pieces, and sometimes... they don't bother to pick it up.
Some kids live their school days hating their body, because they don't match up with the trend or they just don't quite fit. They hate themselves, hate their life, and their angst is practically fuming from their musk. They just can't quite see yet, and perhaps they never will.
Some of them drown themselves on electronic waves and fake names. I want to be someone other than me. Anyone, really. These thoughts run through their mind as they lie, and lie, and lie until their throats are sore and someone shuts them up. Though an unlikely encounter, there is always that misfortune. That is why parents try to warn them, but they don't see with their disabled eyes.
Some kids don't fit in these categories at all. They just live day to day, waiting for something amazing or outrageous to happen to them. They're always waiting.
What is your memory?
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Black Dog - Excerpt II
He walked slowly towards his mother, and he bent down to hand her the pink medicine. When he was giving the medicine to her, she immediately stood up and towered over him. He sweated as she opened her mouth to speak.
“What are you doing in my clean kitchen? Out, out you go!” She screeched. He yelped, placing the medicine on the counter before turning around to flee. The woman had yelled after him, but didn’t bother to follow as his feet carried him upstairs to his shared room with his older, twin brother.
As he entered the room, Cain looked at him dubiously. Abel took a deep breath and stumbled near Cain’s bed, nearly collapsing next to his brother’s feet. Though his face was buried in the fluffy sheets, he could hear his brother scoff and look at him with disdain.
“Honestly, if you’re so scared with dealing with Mother, what’s the point?” Abel shifted his face to look at his brother.
“If I don’t deal with Mother, who will? Surely not you, not our neighbors, nor her friends that come to visit.”
“Those are not her friends.” Cain snapped at him. “They are only fellow cultists looking for a place to reside their base.” He looked away from Abel to continue his reading. The younger of the two shifted his spot from the floor to flop onto the bed. Cain growled, but seem to allowed Abel to curl within himself. A strong sense of sleep was fogging the edges of his eyesight. Yet, his mind didn’t want to follow as he kept staring at his brother, who pretended to not notice his presence.
“What are you doing in my clean kitchen? Out, out you go!” She screeched. He yelped, placing the medicine on the counter before turning around to flee. The woman had yelled after him, but didn’t bother to follow as his feet carried him upstairs to his shared room with his older, twin brother.
As he entered the room, Cain looked at him dubiously. Abel took a deep breath and stumbled near Cain’s bed, nearly collapsing next to his brother’s feet. Though his face was buried in the fluffy sheets, he could hear his brother scoff and look at him with disdain.
“Honestly, if you’re so scared with dealing with Mother, what’s the point?” Abel shifted his face to look at his brother.
“If I don’t deal with Mother, who will? Surely not you, not our neighbors, nor her friends that come to visit.”
“Those are not her friends.” Cain snapped at him. “They are only fellow cultists looking for a place to reside their base.” He looked away from Abel to continue his reading. The younger of the two shifted his spot from the floor to flop onto the bed. Cain growled, but seem to allowed Abel to curl within himself. A strong sense of sleep was fogging the edges of his eyesight. Yet, his mind didn’t want to follow as he kept staring at his brother, who pretended to not notice his presence.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
June 10th, 2015
School is almost over I just need to last like three more days, not including the testing day next Friday. Hopefully everything will be fine.
Anyway, I'm working on a sort of 'choose-your-own-adventure'. It's pretty fun so far, but I wonder if it's funny enough for my tastes. Oh well, we'll see when I test play it before presenting it to my teacher for extra credit.
Speaking of, I need to work on it. Talk to you all later!
Anyway, I'm working on a sort of 'choose-your-own-adventure'. It's pretty fun so far, but I wonder if it's funny enough for my tastes. Oh well, we'll see when I test play it before presenting it to my teacher for extra credit.
Speaking of, I need to work on it. Talk to you all later!
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
June 9th, 2015
For the next three days I will be stuck in testing for at least two different classes, so apologies in advance for garbled social updates.
The school year is ending and I am, again, reminded of the period of time in Summer where I will be extremely bored. Hopefully, I'll find other things to do other than write, read, eat, draw, and play video games.
Well, we'll see won't we?
The school year is ending and I am, again, reminded of the period of time in Summer where I will be extremely bored. Hopefully, I'll find other things to do other than write, read, eat, draw, and play video games.
Well, we'll see won't we?
Monday, June 8, 2015
June 8th, 2015
Happy National Best Friend's Day!
I hope you all have people outside your family close to your heart that you would allow a scene of vulnerability with. If you do not, than that is okay.
Today has been a fair day for me, nothing much to say. I am probably set for my regents tests, however, I am fearful for my geometry. I don't know why, since math comes almost naturally, but this class isn't the exact best. Hopefully, this feeling will be eradicated when I actually partake in the test.
I'm currently with my family at the moment and we're bonding over the food network shows. Currently, it's triple d's and we're just watching people make food and watching Guy eat them. It's funny how entertaining it is.
Though, my mom is going back to vlogs about food.
Now they're arguing about whether or not my brother can watch a horror movie. He probably can't but whatever.
Have a nice day guys. Bright skies or beautiful clouds and whatnot.
I hope you all have people outside your family close to your heart that you would allow a scene of vulnerability with. If you do not, than that is okay.
Today has been a fair day for me, nothing much to say. I am probably set for my regents tests, however, I am fearful for my geometry. I don't know why, since math comes almost naturally, but this class isn't the exact best. Hopefully, this feeling will be eradicated when I actually partake in the test.
I'm currently with my family at the moment and we're bonding over the food network shows. Currently, it's triple d's and we're just watching people make food and watching Guy eat them. It's funny how entertaining it is.
Though, my mom is going back to vlogs about food.
Now they're arguing about whether or not my brother can watch a horror movie. He probably can't but whatever.
Have a nice day guys. Bright skies or beautiful clouds and whatnot.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
June 7th, 2015
A thought has just occurred to me in my almost silent musings. The aspect of which I need to be fearful of the future. Though there are many things that warrant my fear for the next day, the unknown so to speak. Yet the most prominent reason for this fear to bog up my senses is humanity itself.
Humans are scary creatures. They kill things, sometimes their own kind, because something is not going their way. That something is abnormal. That something is wrong, in their eyes, and must be extracted.
The realization that there are people who wake up in a beautiful day thinking "I'm going to kill someone" is completely terrifying. There are also people who wake up and think "I'm going to put someone in their place" as well, and that is also terrifying.
There are so many assumptions upon many things; so many stereotypes, that I fear that humanity itself is becoming ignorant to the world around them. Though, of course, there are some people who are abnormal is this sickening normality and are trying to help fix what has been broken. However, which each birth and death, there are thoughts to be said out loud for clarity:
when had the ignorant began to outnumber the educated?
when had the grotesque began to outnumber the accepted?
when has supposed normality become abnormal?
It's such a trifle thing about society. Some people strive for the plan to utopia, for a perfect world. Yet, they do not see the ultimate flaw to a perfect society: man. Because of such different ideals and different minds, there is no such thing, as the word utopia suggests.
We want change, but how are we going to get it?
Humans are scary creatures. They kill things, sometimes their own kind, because something is not going their way. That something is abnormal. That something is wrong, in their eyes, and must be extracted.
The realization that there are people who wake up in a beautiful day thinking "I'm going to kill someone" is completely terrifying. There are also people who wake up and think "I'm going to put someone in their place" as well, and that is also terrifying.
There are so many assumptions upon many things; so many stereotypes, that I fear that humanity itself is becoming ignorant to the world around them. Though, of course, there are some people who are abnormal is this sickening normality and are trying to help fix what has been broken. However, which each birth and death, there are thoughts to be said out loud for clarity:
when had the ignorant began to outnumber the educated?
when had the grotesque began to outnumber the accepted?
when has supposed normality become abnormal?
It's such a trifle thing about society. Some people strive for the plan to utopia, for a perfect world. Yet, they do not see the ultimate flaw to a perfect society: man. Because of such different ideals and different minds, there is no such thing, as the word utopia suggests.
We want change, but how are we going to get it?
Saturday, June 6, 2015
June 6th, 2015
I wonder what would happen if all of my choices that I've made were reversed. That would be pretty weird.
Ah, well. Thought process is weird.
Anyway, good morning/afternoon/evening! How are you all? Good, I would hope. A lot of rain has stricken us, and unfortunately that means accidents and thunder, ugh. I hate thunder. I do like rain though, and it is quite unfortunate that the thunder makes my heart stop.
It's barely summer, actually. Yet, it's super hot. Though, with the city I live in, it might be short lasted.
It's the anniversary of D-Day, apparently. The news says, anyway. To be honest, I really don't trust the news anymore. The media always gives me anxiety. America news is just death, death, death, and more death. It's insane, but with the nature of the nation, it's not unbelievable. Sad, really.
You know, I wonder how I would be as an adult? Would I change, or stay the same? It's really perplexing to think about the future. What did you think you would become when you were young? Who do you think you will become later? A good question to leave this off on.
Hope you all have a good day!
Ah, well. Thought process is weird.
Anyway, good morning/afternoon/evening! How are you all? Good, I would hope. A lot of rain has stricken us, and unfortunately that means accidents and thunder, ugh. I hate thunder. I do like rain though, and it is quite unfortunate that the thunder makes my heart stop.
It's barely summer, actually. Yet, it's super hot. Though, with the city I live in, it might be short lasted.
It's the anniversary of D-Day, apparently. The news says, anyway. To be honest, I really don't trust the news anymore. The media always gives me anxiety. America news is just death, death, death, and more death. It's insane, but with the nature of the nation, it's not unbelievable. Sad, really.
You know, I wonder how I would be as an adult? Would I change, or stay the same? It's really perplexing to think about the future. What did you think you would become when you were young? Who do you think you will become later? A good question to leave this off on.
Hope you all have a good day!
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Black Dog - Excerpt I
“Abel, grab your mother some medicine. You know, the pink pills?” His mother calls from the kitchen. Abel nods obediently, treading over the wooden planks and following the white paint into the sparkling bathroom. He could smell the bleach evaporating from the room’s pores and it was mixed with the acidity that came from the freshly painted walls. The room was filled with the sense of nervousness and uncertainty, as if it disliked the taste of the newness that surrounded its insides.
Abel opened the medicine cabinet. He scanned over the yellow bottles with white caps and read through the gibberish and randomly placed letters to find one specific pattern. In bold, roman letters, LITHIUM could be read. Abel opened it, making sure the pink pills were indeed pink. Pink they were, so he closed the bottle and clutched it tightly in his hand. He walked over the wooden planks and followed the white paint back to his mother. He could practically feel her tremors from where he was, and hurried to her side.
He approached the kitchen with a silent anxiety welling in his stomach. Poking his head through the door, Abel saw his mother curled on the floor; her entire body shaking. The boy could feel the perspiration falling from his brow as a new sense of fear replaced his anxiety. However, knowing his duty far too well, he shed his cowardly skin and placed a courageous facade.
Abel opened the medicine cabinet. He scanned over the yellow bottles with white caps and read through the gibberish and randomly placed letters to find one specific pattern. In bold, roman letters, LITHIUM could be read. Abel opened it, making sure the pink pills were indeed pink. Pink they were, so he closed the bottle and clutched it tightly in his hand. He walked over the wooden planks and followed the white paint back to his mother. He could practically feel her tremors from where he was, and hurried to her side.
He approached the kitchen with a silent anxiety welling in his stomach. Poking his head through the door, Abel saw his mother curled on the floor; her entire body shaking. The boy could feel the perspiration falling from his brow as a new sense of fear replaced his anxiety. However, knowing his duty far too well, he shed his cowardly skin and placed a courageous facade.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
June 3rd, 2015
My eyes are tired, my nose is stuffed, and my body feels like it has endured too much with its weather-teared skin. I've cried a lot in my life, but hopefully I don't cry as much as I did the night previous. I rather not disclose it, as it is far too personal than an online diary can handle.
However, I do believe it is safe to say that I do not see anymore conflicts or unwarranted and awkward conversations in the future, hopefully.
It is a cold, sunny day in the month of June. I have finished taking a dreadful test. The end of the school year steadily approaches, and I am tired.
How are you?
However, I do believe it is safe to say that I do not see anymore conflicts or unwarranted and awkward conversations in the future, hopefully.
It is a cold, sunny day in the month of June. I have finished taking a dreadful test. The end of the school year steadily approaches, and I am tired.
How are you?
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
June 2nd, 2015
I had to take the Geometry Common Core test today and it wasn't that bad, if you can take away the questions which weren't taught, that is. I feel like I passed it, but I'm unsure whether I succeeded in obtaining a grade satisfactory. I can't really say "as long as I past, it's okay" since it wouldn't be okay if I get lower than my expectations.
Other than that, I played games in my club. There was this one game, Machi Koro. It was really fun! I actually might bring it home with me, I'm not so sure. I just like playing it, as it brings me entertainment.
Though, I'm unsure if I could play with anyone else. Who knows?
Again, I have to suffer two more weeks (not counting this one, I would presume) until I'm out of school ad lazing in my bed. Now, as we hit closer to the end mark of school, I am unsure how I feel about it. I know school is a repetitive sequence that irks me at times, but I really have nothing to do during the summer time. It really is a predicament I'm in with my mental state. Be bored together with everyone else, or be the only one bored at home?
Quite a heavy thought, in my opinion.
Other than that, I played games in my club. There was this one game, Machi Koro. It was really fun! I actually might bring it home with me, I'm not so sure. I just like playing it, as it brings me entertainment.
Though, I'm unsure if I could play with anyone else. Who knows?
Again, I have to suffer two more weeks (not counting this one, I would presume) until I'm out of school ad lazing in my bed. Now, as we hit closer to the end mark of school, I am unsure how I feel about it. I know school is a repetitive sequence that irks me at times, but I really have nothing to do during the summer time. It really is a predicament I'm in with my mental state. Be bored together with everyone else, or be the only one bored at home?
Quite a heavy thought, in my opinion.
Monday, June 1, 2015
100 Things to Do When I'm Alone
- Do the Air Guitar
- Sing along to a Katy Perry song
- Drink some water because of Katy Perry songs
- Try to write a letter to Grandma
- Throw out the letter because I can’t write Vietnamese very well
- Draw on the wall
- Panic about drawing on the wall
- Paint over the drawing (no one will ever know)
- Try to build a birdhouse
- Drop it because I can’t make a birdhouse
- Write
- Get stumped on writing and throw the notebook across the room
- Contemplate what I’m living for
- Slap myself because I’m stupid for thinking about that
- Make costumes with the leftover yarn
- Drop it because ow, ow my hand.
- Think about robbing a bank
- Watch a Tom & Jerry show about robbing a bank
- Watch cartoons
- Wonder if I’m too old to watch Cartoons
- Screw society’s standards, old people can watch cartoons. Everyone can watch cartoons.
- Watch cartoons on the internet
- Start drawing
- Stop drawing because IPad is overheating
- Go back to traditional and draw on paper
- Drop that because lead is sticking to my hand
- Paint
- Stop Painting because Acrylic Paints are a stupid thing to exist but I love them so much
- Start reading
- Punch myself for taking the creative writing course because I can see the mistakes
- Drop the book and start a bonfire
- Contemplate if my neighbors think I’m crazy
- Wonder if I can buy some fireworks, legally
- Ask my mom if she can buy fireworks
- Walk the dog
- Make sure I don’t pass any black people because dog is racist
- Trip
- Make sure dog doesn’t lick my shin because I’m not risking that
- Bring dog home
- Wash his feet
- Be pawed in the face because he hates the bath tub
- Avoid dog
- Remember to brush the dog
- Don’t brush the dog
- Remember to clip his nails
- Avoid the dog like a plague
- Wonder where my pencil is
- Find it after twenty minutes
- Dog steals tissue
- Chase after dog
- Call out to dog
- Remember that he only knows Vietnamese
- Speak heavy accented Vietnamese
- Yell when he rips the tissue up
- Avoid dog’s mouth to avoid bite marks
- Grab tissue and throw it out
- Wash hands
- Shun dog
- Ridicule dog
- Get phone call from mom to set food out
- Figure out what she means when she says “the thing”
- Figure it out
- Make rice
- Make rice for like thirty minutes before actually putting it in the pot
- Wait
- Get anxious
- Start cleaning room
- Finish cleaning room
- Laugh at sexual jokes
- Move into living room
- Decide not to clean it and go clean the bathroom
- Clean bathroom
- Find a spider
- Have a battle to the death with the spider
- Kill spider
- Feel remorse
- Wonder if that spider was a dead relative
- Have viking funeral for spider
- Wonder if I would get in trouble for walking to Cobbs Hill to conduct said viking funeral
- Walk back home
- Avoid creepy men on the sidewalk
- Ignore racist slurs
- Get angry when someone asks me if I’m anything other than Vietnamese
- Remember that one guy working in the corner store who thought I was Korean
- Reinforce the fact that I am not white and pasty
- Go to Spot and grab a macaroon
- Eat it slowly and wonder if I should’ve bought another
- Decide not to because it was $2.15, what a rip off
- Go back home, again
- Turn on the TV
- Watch whatever is on
- Avoid Uncle Grandpa because show is horrible and shows bad morals
- Pray for the next generation
- Wonder if mom is proud of my productiveness
- Hope that she’s happy
- Wonder why I’m so weird
- Figure that people aren’t weird enough
- Take a nap
- Wake up and notice nobody's home yet
- Party
UPDATE June 1st, 2015
I finished that stupid Spanish homework, huzzah!
Now all I have to do is worry about if I'm going to die from starvation. Or testing. Whichever comes first.
My teeth kind of hurts, kind of worried if I have a cavity.
I also wanna punch this guy in the face but he's probably gonna cry and I will feel remorse. I don't want to feel remorse for trash.
June 1st, 2015
Two more weeks! Two more weeks! Two more weeks! TWO MORE WEEKS!
I'm so ready.
Anyway, as per the usual, I am doing quite pleasantly. However, the loom and doom of tests make me quite anxious as of late. It's quite... discouraging.
Though, I have been trying to choke down that anxiety by watching cartoons. It has been a great stress reliever. However, some moral episodes of the shows somewhat hit close to home and I am... quite off put by that. It's whatever though, things happen and there's no way to protect yourself fully from society's poor discretion.
I have some Spanish work that is causing me great irritation. Not because I don't understand it, heavens no. Rather, it's a bit too much for my brain as of current.
Sometimes I don't think people realize that there are times when my brain shuts down and it dwindles just by a thought of work. However, with my raising, I am forced by my own body to do it as soon as possible, as to get it away quicker. This homework, though, is a tedious crossword that irks me to the core. Most likely because it has less pictures to assist me to solve it quickly, but the look of it is also very... eh.
Appearance shouldn't be the first thing I can think about when viewing homework, but I apologize if my aesthetics are priority when I am delivered an assignment to work at home. If I have to work on homework for ten minutes of my time, when I could be doing something else, then I at least have to enjoy looking at the paper while doing my work. It's simply how it works.
Well, not for everyone... but hey, everyone's different.
Pardon my rudeness, as I terribly forgot during my rant about aesthetics, but how was your day? Is it gloomy? Shiny? Is everything black and white or full of color? I do hope you are faring well, as you are a person, and you should desire for a good day. Even if you're an ass.
I'm so ready.
Anyway, as per the usual, I am doing quite pleasantly. However, the loom and doom of tests make me quite anxious as of late. It's quite... discouraging.
Though, I have been trying to choke down that anxiety by watching cartoons. It has been a great stress reliever. However, some moral episodes of the shows somewhat hit close to home and I am... quite off put by that. It's whatever though, things happen and there's no way to protect yourself fully from society's poor discretion.
I have some Spanish work that is causing me great irritation. Not because I don't understand it, heavens no. Rather, it's a bit too much for my brain as of current.
Sometimes I don't think people realize that there are times when my brain shuts down and it dwindles just by a thought of work. However, with my raising, I am forced by my own body to do it as soon as possible, as to get it away quicker. This homework, though, is a tedious crossword that irks me to the core. Most likely because it has less pictures to assist me to solve it quickly, but the look of it is also very... eh.
Appearance shouldn't be the first thing I can think about when viewing homework, but I apologize if my aesthetics are priority when I am delivered an assignment to work at home. If I have to work on homework for ten minutes of my time, when I could be doing something else, then I at least have to enjoy looking at the paper while doing my work. It's simply how it works.
Well, not for everyone... but hey, everyone's different.
Pardon my rudeness, as I terribly forgot during my rant about aesthetics, but how was your day? Is it gloomy? Shiny? Is everything black and white or full of color? I do hope you are faring well, as you are a person, and you should desire for a good day. Even if you're an ass.
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