Monday, June 1, 2015

100 Things to Do When I'm Alone


  1. Do the Air Guitar
  2. Sing along to a Katy Perry song
  3. Drink some water because of Katy Perry songs
  4. Try to write a letter to Grandma
  5. Throw out the letter because I can’t write Vietnamese very well
  6. Draw on the wall
  7. Panic about drawing on the wall
  8. Paint over the drawing (no one will ever know)
  9. Try to build a birdhouse
  10. Drop it because I can’t make a birdhouse 
  11. Write
  12. Get stumped on writing and throw the notebook across the room
  13. Contemplate what I’m living for
  14. Slap myself because I’m stupid for thinking about that
  15. Make costumes with the leftover yarn
  16. Drop it because ow, ow my hand.
  17. Think about robbing a bank
  18. Watch a Tom & Jerry show about robbing a bank
  19. Watch cartoons
  20. Wonder if I’m too old to watch Cartoons
  21. Screw society’s standards, old people can watch cartoons. Everyone can watch cartoons. 
  22. Watch cartoons on the internet
  23. Start drawing
  24. Stop drawing because IPad is overheating
  25. Go back to traditional and draw on paper
  26. Drop that because lead is sticking to my hand
  27. Paint
  28. Stop Painting because Acrylic Paints are a stupid thing to exist but I love them so much
  29. Start reading
  30. Punch myself for taking the creative writing course because I can see the mistakes
  31. Drop the book and start a bonfire
  32. Contemplate if my neighbors think I’m crazy
  33. Wonder if I can buy some fireworks, legally
  34. Ask my mom if she can buy fireworks
  35. Walk the dog
  36. Make sure I don’t pass any black people because dog is racist
  37. Trip
  38. Make sure dog doesn’t lick my shin because I’m not risking that
  39. Bring dog home
  40. Wash his feet
  41. Be pawed in the face because he hates the bath tub
  42. Avoid dog
  43. Remember to brush the dog
  44. Don’t brush the dog
  45. Remember to clip his nails
  46. Avoid the dog like a plague
  47. Wonder where my pencil is
  48. Find it after twenty minutes
  49. Dog steals tissue
  50. Chase after dog
  51. Call out to dog
  52. Remember that he only knows Vietnamese
  53. Speak heavy accented Vietnamese
  54. Yell when he rips the tissue up
  55. Avoid dog’s mouth to avoid bite marks
  56. Grab tissue and throw it out
  57. Wash hands
  58. Shun dog
  59. Ridicule dog
  60. Get phone call from mom to set food out
  61. Figure out what she means when she says “the thing”
  62. Figure it out
  63. Make rice
  64. Make rice for like thirty minutes before actually putting it in the pot
  65. Wait
  66. Get anxious
  67. Start cleaning room
  68. Finish cleaning room
  69. Laugh at sexual jokes
  70. Move into living room 
  71. Decide not to clean it and go clean the bathroom
  72. Clean bathroom
  73. Find a spider
  74. Have a battle to the death with the spider
  75. Kill spider
  76. Feel remorse
  77. Wonder if that spider was a dead relative
  78. Have viking funeral for spider
  79. Wonder if I would get in trouble for walking to Cobbs Hill to conduct said viking funeral
  80. Walk back home
  81. Avoid creepy men on the sidewalk
  82. Ignore racist slurs
  83. Get angry when someone asks me if I’m anything other than Vietnamese
  84. Remember that one guy working in the corner store who thought I was Korean
  85. Reinforce the fact that I am not white and pasty 
  86. Go to Spot and grab a macaroon
  87. Eat it slowly and wonder if I should’ve bought another
  88. Decide not to because it was $2.15, what a rip off
  89. Go back home, again
  90. Turn on the TV
  91. Watch whatever is on
  92. Avoid Uncle Grandpa because show is horrible and shows bad morals
  93. Pray for the next generation
  94. Wonder if mom is proud of my productiveness
  95. Hope that she’s happy
  96. Wonder why I’m so weird
  97. Figure that people aren’t weird enough
  98. Take a nap
  99. Wake up and notice nobody's home yet
  100. Party

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